if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize