How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
