Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
