There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
