Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
tell me about the fingering
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
