Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize