we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
