I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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