I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Less talking, more tequila
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
