I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
