Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
