a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
