he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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