But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
