it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My vagina just recognized that song.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
