He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
