Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
