WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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