i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
