Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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