return my video game
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize