Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
