Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
