Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I lost the right to judge tonight
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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