He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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