He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
