She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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