Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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