there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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