the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
