Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
