he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
