stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
