Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize