White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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