Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
