Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
