Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
