I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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