i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
