READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
