She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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