ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if only i could text you this smell
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize