I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
