you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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