It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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