Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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