Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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