New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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