Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
