come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize