I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
