Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
did i just pee glitter
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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