I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
we're so committed to being not committed
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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