She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
