Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My bed smells like the plague
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