38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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