Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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