we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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