I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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