i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
