he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
