Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
