I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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