i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
