i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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