Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
