i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
