Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
