This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize