Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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