I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
