so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
