Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize