escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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