Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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