dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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